Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
