You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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