Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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