So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
