I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
bring money and cleavage
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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