The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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