SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
