How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
