The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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