I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
