before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
