yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
