these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
