fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
