I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
