Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
