my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
