How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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