i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
