dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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