I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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