Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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