Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
