Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
