Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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