He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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