well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just had sex on a roof
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
