Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
