I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
