is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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