Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
