Me. At least after what I've been through.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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