OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
her vagine was all disorganized.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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