did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
