my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
