Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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