So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
