yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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