That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Ketchup is God's man juice
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
