I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We got so high we made milksteak
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
