were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
