How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The power of my boobs compel you
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
