i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
