I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
