it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
