CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can feel your judgement through the phone
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
