She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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