I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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