A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
