if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
