A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
